Welcome to the Bank Whizz Descriptive Mock Evaluation Series, where aspirants receive high-precision, examiner-level feedback for SEBI, IFSCA, RBI, and NABARD descriptive papers.
This post contains the complete evaluation, scorecard, model essay, and learning insights for SEBI – Essay Mock 2.
📌 Mock Meta Table
| Parameter | Details |
|---|---|
| Test Name | SEBI – Essay Mock 2 |
| Test ID | 9448 |
| Topic | The Impact of Technological Advancements on the Securities Market |
| Word Limit | 250 |
| Words Attempted | 130 |
| Completion | Incomplete answer (breaks mid-sentence) |
❓ Exact Question Asked
Write an argumentative essay on “The impact of technological advancements on the securities market.” in 250 words.
✍️ Aspirant’s Submitted Answer (Exact, Unchanged)
securities market is a market place where various securities such as stocks ,bonds and derivatives are bought and sold by individuals and organisations.such markets are Newyork Stock Exchange ,London Stock Excange and Frank Frut Stock Exchange
technology advancements in securities market is access to capital markets ,UPI based IPOs ,online bokrage with moblie apps etc.these are all helpful for individuals who are participating securities market
through these advancements securities markets enhanced liquidity and efficiency,electronic order marching ,low latency sysytems,and real time price discovery .
however blockchain technology had profound impacts on markets infrasturcture ,distributed ledger systems have streamlined clearing and process,reducing settlement timeand counter party risks .
whatever technological advancements in every field had profound changes and upgrade the systems and improve the transprency and
📊 Scorecard (Out of 30 Marks)
| Parameter | Max Marks | Score |
|---|---|---|
| Content Quality & Relevance | 10 | 3.5 |
| Structure & Organisation | 5 | 1.5 |
| Language, Grammar & Clarity | 5 | 1 |
| Argumentation & Analysis | 5 | 1 |
| Conclusion & Coherence | 3 | 0 (incomplete ending) |
| Overall Presentation | 2 | 1 |
| TOTAL | 30 | 8 / 30 |
✅ Strengths
- Identified relevant technological advancements: UPI IPOs, mobile trading apps, algorithmic systems.
- Recognised blockchain’s impact on clearing & settlement.
- Attempted to highlight benefits: liquidity, efficiency, price discovery.
- Essay stays within the topic’s broad domain.
❌ Areas of Improvement (with Corrective Examples)
1️⃣ Over-definition, insufficient argumentation
❌ Weak → “securities market is a market place where…”
✅ Better → “The securities market has transformed rapidly due to digitalisation, reshaping trading behaviour and regulatory oversight.”
2️⃣ Factual Errors & Inaccuracies
❌ Weak → “Frank Frut Stock Exchange”
✅ Better → “Frankfurt Stock Exchange”
3️⃣ Poor grammar & lack of sentence structure
❌ Weak → “technology advancements in securities market is access to capital markets…”
✅ Better → “Technological advancements such as online brokerage and UPI-based IPOs have democratised access to capital markets.”
4️⃣ No arguments—only listing
❌ Weak → “these are all helpful for individuals…”
✅ Better → “However, critics argue that excessive algorithmic trading also increases systemic risks.”
5️⃣ Incomplete ending
❌ Weak → “improve the transparency and…”
✅ Better → “improve transparency, strengthen market integrity, and make securities markets more inclusive.”
✏️ Line-by-Line Suggestions (6 Key Fixes)
- Replace “securities market is a market place…” → Use an analytical introduction.
- Correct spelling: Newyork → New York, Excange → Exchange.
- Rewrite sentence on mobile apps: needs structure and clarity.
- Add missing commas, fix run-on sentences.
- Provide arguments “for” and “against” technological advancements.
- Add a concluding perspective.
🎓 Examiner’s Insight Box
A SEBI Grade A argumentative essay must:
- Present both benefits and drawbacks
- Use strong reasoning, not just listing examples
- Connect technology with market integrity, investor protection, transparency
- Provide SEBI-specific context (e.g., T+1, algo trading norms, cybersecurity, surveillance)
- End with a decisive argument-based conclusion
The aspirant scored low due to incomplete answer, lack of structure, grammatical issues, and no argumentative stance.
🌟 Golden Rules for This Topic
- Use a clear stance: “Technology improves markets but introduces new challenges.”
- Cover key areas: trading, settlement, surveillance, investor access, risks.
- Mention SEBI initiatives.
- Provide global examples.
- Conclude with balanced arguments.
🔑 Keyword Bank (Vocabulary Boost)
Algorithmic trading, latency, digital onboarding, dematerialisation, surveillance, blockchain, DLT, transparency, price discovery, interoperability, cyber-risks, investor protection.
⏳ 30-Second Revision Notes
- Technology has reshaped trading, settlement, and investor participation.
- Benefits: efficiency, transparency, liquidity.
- Risks: cyber threats, algorithmic volatility, misinformation.
- SEBI plays a key role in regulating digital trading ecosystems.
- A balanced conclusion is necessary for full marks.
🚫 Red-Flag Mistakes to Avoid
- Over-definition
- Poor grammar
- No arguments
- Listing random examples
- No conclusion
- Incorrect exchange names
- Incomplete essay
🏆 Topper’s Structure for This Essay
- Introduction – context + argument
- Positive impact – efficiency, access, liquidity
- Negative impact/risks – cyber threats, manipulation, algo risks
- SEBI’s regulatory measures
- Conclusion – balanced argument
🧩 Template for Similar Essays
- Start with the technological shift
- Present benefits
- Present risks
- Add regulator’s perspective
- End with argument-based conclusion
📝 1 Practice Question
“Critically examine how algorithmic trading has transformed the Indian securities market.”
🖋️ Model Essay (250 Words – EXACT)
Technological advancements have transformed the securities market more profoundly in the last decade than in the previous several combined. Digital trading platforms, mobile-based investing, online brokerages, and UPI-enabled IPO applications have made market participation faster, easier, and more affordable for retail investors. These improvements have expanded financial inclusion and strengthened liquidity. Algorithmic and low-latency trading systems further support rapid order execution, tighter spreads, and efficient price discovery, illustrating how technology enhances overall market depth and competitiveness.
However, the impact is not entirely positive, as critics argue that excessive dependence on technology introduces new vulnerabilities. Algorithmic trading, while efficient, can trigger flash crashes, amplify volatility, and create unfair advantages for high-speed traders. The surge in digital participation has also heightened cyber risks, including hacking attempts, data breaches, misinformation, and online fraud targeting inexperienced investors. Blockchain and distributed ledger technologies promise transparent settlement processes, yet their adoption raises operational, regulatory, and scalability challenges that need careful evaluation.
Regulators such as SEBI have responded by strengthening market surveillance, implementing T+1 settlement, issuing stricter cyber-security guidelines, and proposing tighter norms for algorithmic trading. These measures aim to balance innovation with investor protection and systemic stability. Supporters argue that regulation should encourage technological growth, while critics caution that rapid adoption without robust safeguards may undermine market integrity.
Overall, technology has undeniably improved efficiency, transparency, and accessibility in the securities market. Yet its long-term success depends on responsible innovation, informed participation, and vigilant regulation to ensure that digital progress strengthens—rather than threatens—market stability.
(250 words)
📘 Key Learning Notes for Aspirants
- Argumentative essays require both sides of the issue.
- Avoid defining basics; examiners expect analysis.
- Maintain structure: Intro → Pros → Cons → Regulator role → Conclusion.
- Write complete sentences; avoid abrupt endings.
- Link the topic with SEBI norms and Indian context.
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